Top 10 reasons to live sober:
1) Most sober people urinate into something
2) Come for the bad coffee stay for the stale cookies.
3) Church basement perfect setting for start of next failed relationship
4) Treatment cheaper than legal fees
5) Meeting Lindsey at your next rehab is over rated.
6) Almost impossible to overdose on caffeine.
7) Chances of meeting Dr. Drew greatly increase
8) Stay sober for a year and open a rehab in Malibu
9) Rationalize any behavior by saying “but that was when I was in my disease”
10) Feel justified in giving vague advice for any situation.